Here it is, another week has gone by and no posts from me. It is the time in my life where I wish I could capture every single thought and feeling about my life as this has been one of the most emotional few months of my life with moving in a few weeks and with the student teaching joys...or lack there of. So while I have about 57 different topics I've been thinking about and wanting to write, I haven't had the time. But another thought has occurred to me, that most of the posts I want to share with my reader (and document for myself so I can later reflect on later in life) and will want to post involve some form of crying. (ex, wet eyes, tears formed, tears flowing at a slow pace down cheek, tears flowing rapidly down cheek or sobbing uncontrollably complete with red cheeks and runny nose). So I thought it was important that before I begin posting anything these next several weeks leading to months I should share a little something about me so my very few readers won't think I'm a total weirdo!
These past few weeks of crying are pretty normal. I cry at just about everything. I tear up (eyes just get a little watery, no actual tear flow down cheek) about twice a day and actually cry hard on average about once a month...but with the months I've had while student teaching and now with the move nearing, the tears and crying have become much more frequent.
You see, I have always been a pretty emotional person. My college roommate, Stacy and I used to fall asleep with the TV on but when the Pampers commercial with all the little baby animals came on, we'd both start crying. I loved that I wasn't the only one who would cry at a sappy cute commercial of baby animals. I've been known to cry at Hallmark commercials, The Lion King (all 327 times I've watched it) and every other Disney movie for that matter. I cry at sad stories, happy stories, ALL love stories, sappy movies, funerals and weddings, even when I don't know the person/couple. I just cry. I am a super emotional person. What is interesting about all that is that growing up, I would never cry for anything that involved me. I was very proud of the fact that I never cried, no matter what the pain. It wasn't until a little therapy with a counselor in my 20's that I learned how to feel my emotions and OH DO I EVER!
Ever since then, I cry at every little thing that I feel for someone else AND my own emotions. I'm such an emotional person. With all this about crying, it's worth saying when I am happy I am REALLY happy. And generally when I am crying it's because of something really happy or that I am just emotional...not that I'm incredibly sad. But on the flip side, what would make another person a little down, I sob. I really hate it. But it is who I am, and thankfully I dated Jason long enough and fell in love with me before he saw the waterworks that I am. And now he just laughs are me. :)
So point in me sharing all that is that it's an emotional time right now when I think it'd be fairly normal to be a little sad, to possibly even shed a couple tears, but for me that means, crying and sobbing like a baby. I have a lot of goodbyes to say these next few weeks and while I know it will be hard, I think my biggest challenge will be to keep myself composed enough to just say my goodbyes and be level-headed through it all. My biggest fear of our "going-away" parties these next couple weeks are that I am going to be a blubbering mess before I even see anyone, let alone say our goodbyes! So as I write and share thoughts about how I'm feeling, know that this is just how I am. I cry really easily and while it annoys the heck out of me (imagine me in professional setting, happy or sad) it is who I am. You can laugh as you read, but at least now you know I am aware that I would agree...I'm an emotional one!