I've made the decision tonight that I am not going to run the Rock & Roll 1/2 Marathon. (thanks Jason for talking this through with me!) I am not going to be ready and the pressures of "needing" to run have taken all the joys out of something that I have really enjoyed. For anyone living anywhere else than Chicago, you may think I am being dramatic in what I have to say...but hear me out. I started running when I lived in Chicago. What I enjoyed the most about running was the things I would see along my runs. When you go out for a walk you can only go a couple miles, but when you're a runner, you could cover 3-6 miles. In Chicago, there's a lot going on in those 3-6 miles! Like I said in a past blog, I would be on a run and wanted to start a blog to share all the crazy things that I saw. It was being out along the path and crowded streets that made me enjoy running. Obviously, once you're at a certain point, you get that runners high and running on a treadmill for short distances can even be fun...but I haven't reached that point yet since my injury. I have been putting so much pressure on myself to go for a run to train for this half marathon and it's taken all the fun out of running. The prairie path is the best bet here and I am no specialist on tree/plant life, so it really isn't all that exciting...let alone safe! I won't let myself go for a run unless I know I can run at least 3 miles...and my pace is so ridiculously slow from training from the marathon, so it's a constant disappointment to myself. I absolutely hate having to "fail" at another committed run, but I want to do it for what it is...a hobby/enjoyment. I am finally without injury and can enjoy a 2-4 mile run without pain and think it's what I should be focusing on right now, instead of letting my pride get in the way. I am so excited to go for a run either tomorrow or Thursday and just be able to run as far as my legs will carry me without the pressures of a timed distance!!!
Meredith...should you still decide to run it (I know you aren't positive you're going to be ready...but I think you are!), I will be there to cheer you along...at many mile markers! And I look forward to running a 5k or 10k with you sometime this year and possible the 1/2 next year when I'm ready! :)