A little over 2 weeks ago I had my 1 year anniversary of losing my job. It wasn't a date I really wanted to celebrate like I do every other anniversary; however, I did acknowledge it and posted the following as my facebook status:
"One year ago today...my life completely changed and I could have made the choice to be bitter and angry. While yes, this year has been more difficult than if I had a steady income and I hate living in the suburbs, I have learned SO MUCH about myself and how its ALL ABOUT HIM and NOT ME!"
Honestly, that is it in a nutshell. I have been so blessed this past year. I have had to make some sacrifices, I hate living in the suburbs at my age and I am really tired of not having any money for anything. But I still have just the right amount to pay for bills and food, plus Jason takes such great care of me paying for all of our dates and even other expenses which come along that I don't have the money for. I am so blessed when I remember why I am here and that it isn't about me. My human ways and wants will kick in and like any one else, I want to have all the things that society says we should have. I don't get to buy clothes, new shoes, more than one jacket, scarves, mittens, workout clothes, earrings, or any other trendy item I see others wearing and can get completely jealous of. I got one outfit to wear to all my dressier outings for the winter. (note....if you ever think you're going to lose your job, that would not be the opportune time to gain a lot of weight like I did, requiring all new clothes. It really limits your wardrobe!) It stinks, it really does, especially because when I wasn't working I wasn't really making the big bucks so I always thought eventually I'd be able to buy a new pair of shoes or have 2 jackets or just splurge on sometime without having to feel too bad or worry at all. I share all this because I never want to put on the front that just because I know God has a plan for me means I don't still want what society tells us we should want. But I think He has made a really good point this past year that while I am broke and living on the minimum, look at how much I still have! I've never had to worry about the things that matter such as food or water. I have clothes on my back, a warm winter jacket, gloves and hats. I turn my heat way down when I am not there and at night but with a quick flip of a switch and a couple blankets, I am warm within minutes. I have a safe and clean apartment without bugs, rodents or violence. A few weeks ago, I turned on my car and thought to myself how fortunate I am that all it takes is a flip of key and the car starts right up every time and I am off to whatever destination it is. Not to mention, I still have my computer, a TV, (big TV when I'm at Jasons!) a microwave, a place to launder my clothes, cable, and all the other luxuries I've gotten used to. In addition to God and all that I've listed, I have my health, a loving family, amazing friends, a very supportive and loving fiance and even Sam! Originally, I wanted to take some time to review some things I've been able to do since I lost my job back in January '09, but as I started to think about my passed year, I realized there are way too many things to begin to create a list. A very obvious opportunity was that I could go to Mexico in August to serve at an orphanage, but isn't everything I do a result of me not being at work? I mean, even that I am able to blog now at 2:51 pm because I'm not working. It was one chain of events that was changed but will forever change who I am as a person. I'm so thankful that God has chosen this path for me and provided me with all that I have. Even when I can't have all the material things I want (more often than not) I am blessed.